Two Years Into Menopause: What I Know Now

Two years ago, I reached menopause – twelve months after my last period. On paper, it looked like a clear milestone. In reality, it was simply another stage in a longer, more complex journey.

Perimenopause had already brought years of physical and emotional change, and crossing that line didn’t magically resolve everything. It took another year beyond that for my body and nervous system to begin finding a new balance.

Now, two years on, I feel steadier, stronger and more like a version of myself I recognise and am content to be.

What I Didn't Expect

Like many of us, I went into perimenopause with a handful of half-formed ideas.

There wasn’t much honest information.

Mostly I heard the same message from older generations: “You just get on with it.”

Alongside that were the familiar stories – weight gain, libido changes, hot flushes, mood swings. A list of symptoms, but very little real conversation about what it actually feels like to live through.

What I wasn’t prepared for was how it would touch every part of my life.

My confidence.

My energy.

My relationships.

My sense of self.

It was a whole-life transition.

And transitions are rarely tidy.

The Changes That Really Mattered

Yes, there was the familiar list of physical and mental changes – night sweats, broken sleep, mood shifts, brain fog, an unfamiliar body. All of it real. All of it is challenging.

But the most significant shifts were the ones I consciously learned and implemented.

Through my studies in somatic practices, I began to notice patterns I’d never really seen before – and to understand their impact on my nervous system, my mood, relationships and my sense of self-worth.

I began to recognise my people-pleasing habits.

I began to realise how much of my life had been built on over-giving and over-doing.

I began listening to what my body had been trying to tell me all along

These weren’t things that magically changed on their own.

They were skills I had to develop – often awkwardly and imperfectly.

Perimenopause didn’t just become something that was happening to me.

It became a powerful invitation to change how I treated myself.

Boundaries Became Medicine

If I had to name the single most healing practice of the last two years, it wouldn’t be a supplement or a workout.

It would be understanding boundaries and how developing clear ones would support me in making important decisions, which not only affects my energy but also improves my relationships.

Saying no without guilt.

Prioritising rest even when it felt uncomfortable.

Letting go of the need to be everything to everyone.

These weren’t small changes.

They were acts of survival and self-respect.

Menopause didn’t just change my body.

It changed what I was willing to tolerate.

HRT Became My Other Medicine

Alongside boundaries, Hormone Replacement Therapy became an important part of my support. Not a magic fix, but a steadying hand – helping to ease symptoms and give my nervous system a little more ground to stand on.

I know HRT isn’t the right choice for everyone, but for me it was one piece of the puzzle – part of a bigger picture of care rather than a single solution.

Acceptnace

One of the biggest lessons was learning to stop measuring myself against who I once was.

To accept that this transformation wasn’t a loss, but a growing into a new version of myself.

To recognise that this stage of life has its own rhythm.

Acceptance didn’t mean giving up.

It meant softening my grip on what had been, meeting myself with more compassion, and opening up to who I was becoming.

Living through this transition has changed not only how I live, but how I work.

Community makes everything lighter

(so you know you are NOT crazy!!)

It’s good to talk – though I also learned that not every conversation helps. Not everyone understands, and not every opinion is useful.

But finding the right people changed everything.

Real conversations with people who understood.

Friends in the same boat.

Spaces where menopause wasn’t whispered about, but spoken about honestly.

So many of us were raised with the message:

“You just put up with it.”

But we don’t have to do this alone.

Sharing stories, laughing about it, comparing notes, being witnessed – these things are profoundly healing.

Community became one of my most important forms of medicine.

Reframing This Stage Of Life

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But many traditional cultures have long understood it very differently.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine, there is the idea of Second Spring – a way of describing the years after menopause as a season of renewed energy and possibility.

In Ayurvedic traditions, this stage of life marks a shift into a phase associated with wisdom, spiritual depth and a different kind of power.

And in many West African and wider Indigenous cultures, older women have historically been regarded as elders, leaders and keepers of knowledge. Ageing is not seen as diminishing, but as a movement toward greater authority, respect and community influence.

As a woman with West African ancestry, this perspective resonates deeply with me – the idea that this stage of life is not about becoming less, but about becoming more of who we are.

These wider, older views offer a kinder lens.

A more hopeful story.

A reminder that menopause can be a season of renewal, clarity and new beginnings.

For me, it became a way to see this time of life not as fading, but as a different kind of flourishing.

What Works?

There is no right or wrong way through menopause.

No perfect plan.

No single approach that fits everyone.

Discovering what supports you – and what doesn’t – is deeply personal. It’s shaped by your body, your history, your nervous system, your life.

For me, what helped wasn’t dramatic fixes. It was small, steady shifts:

Learning to move my body gently and consistently.

Listening more closely to my nervous system.

Resting without apology.

Asking for support instead of pushing through.

Choosing rhythm over rigid routines.

Letting life ebb and flow rather than forcing it.

And slowly reframing my relationship to ageing.

None of this happened overnight.

It’s been an ongoing process – with tweaks, missteps and adjustments along the way.

And it still is.

Why This Shapes My Work

Living through this transition has changed not only how I live, but how I work.

It’s why everything I offer is rooted in:

Nervous system care

Compassion over pressure

Honest conversations

Movement that respects real bodies

Creating spaces where people feel understood

Reframing the way we value ageing bodies 

Not with promises that “all will be okay if you just do this.”

But with the reassurance that you don’t have to do it alone.

An Invitation

If you’re somewhere in the thick of this – confused, exhausted, hopeful, overwhelmed – know that your experience makes sense.

There is no perfect way through menopause.

Only your way.

And sometimes the kindest thing we can do is find support, community and practices that help us meet ourselves with a little more gentleness.

That’s what I’m here to offer.

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With warmth,

Mela